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Why New Years resolutions don’t’ work

I am writing this ahead of time to warn you of the pitfalls of making resolutions. Most resolutions don’t work because they are made when too much bubbly is in your system and though well intentioned in that moment, you know deep down in dawn of morning there ain’t no way you will follow through.

It is the morning after when the new day sobers you up and you realize the person next to you is not the person you thought you knew, in fact, may not be anyone you know, or you wake up and realize you know the person, and are sorry that you do.

You can’t start a new year, a new outlook, new goals, a new you on the first of January. Hung over, dry heaves, wet heaves, with only football games for redemption to free you from  . . . what did I resolve to do?

Won’t work.

No you must make resolutions now in order to acclimate yourself for the new year. It is like baseball players in spring training, or football players in training camp; you must prepare yourself. You can not jump into it on New Years Eve. Well, okay, you can, and it is a lot of fun, but I am talking about resolutions here.

What I have resolved to do as of Sunday, December the 6th, is to rise each morning and eat breakfast while reading my emails, or should say deleting 20 of 25 without bothering to read. Then brew some tea, either green, oolong, or jasmine. I drink the tea because it has not only antioxidants, but a caffeine jolt to jump start my brain to write my 2,000 words Monday through Friday. One thousand words, then stop to exercise my body so that my rear end does not spread out like an amok excel spreadsheet. Then write another 1,000 words. After that I shall read, as I have tons of unread books, so many that my space looks like a literary agents growing slush pile. I am a book hoarder that must climb out from my computer chair like a mountain goat on Everest.

So I am now officially in training for my new 2,000 words a day. I don’t know how long it will last, but I am already eagerly looking forward to jumping into New Year’s Eve.

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