I have trouble making decisions. I should have finished my third novel a year ago. I want to get it right of course and therein lies the problem. I have trouble deciding what’s what.
Case in point, I have read conflicting opinions on how frequently one should shower, so I wait until the police come to my door complaining that neighbors thought there was a dead body in the house. They always hold their nose when I answer the door and once a cop pulled a gun on me; later apologizing, saying he had seen too many episodes of “The Walking Dead.”
On the occasion when I have showered-thanks to police recommendation-I have trouble deciding which restaurant to take my date. It is too difficult to decide between Le Maison, an expensive, but well worth it, French restaurant or the local DQ. In the end my indecisiveness means no date and eating mac and cheese alone with the TV off because there are too many shows to choose from that look interesting. How can one choose between QVC’s adult diaper sale and “The Muppets in Nebraska” Hallmark special.
Life is confusing. Coffee is bad for you. Two years later it is good for you. Grains are good for you-except the New York Times bestselling book saying no they aren’t. A glass of wine a day is good for your heart. But not for your appendix. Dairy products are bad for you, except for those who say they are good for you.
Therein lies the problem. Irregardless is a legitimate word in some dictionaries, but not in others. It should be regardless, or irrespective, never irregardless. Personally I don’t like the word and never use it. I have made that decision.
But proofreading is a bugaboo. Where do the commas go? Can I end a sentence with a preposition? It is considered bad grammar, but not in every sector of the grammarian world. There are too many things I can’t fathom, never will apparently. But I will strive to finish my novel before . . .
Sorry I must go. The police are banging on my door.