Getting your book reviewed on Amazon, the good, bad, and the ugly

Any first time author is flop-sweat nervous the first time he clicks PUBLISH on Amazon. A writer gives birth to his creation, the story is his child, and any parent wants people to like his kid. So the author waits for the reviews and has both dreams of success with tons of four and five start reviews and nightmares of failure with the dreaded one star.

As any author knows, anyone who gives his book a one star review is an uneducated cretin who can’t read, is probably a child molester with heavy credit card debt, has no friends, and gets fired job after job.

I had to get that out of my system.

But lets take a closer look. Good reviews always make one feel good. It signifies they wrote a good book, heck even three out five stars means something positive. So anything three and above is good.

What is bad are reviews that bring out salient points, are well written negative comments about your precious book. But being objective, because you are a secure artist, you realize that the negativity brings out good points. But it must be remembered at all cost, and this is the most important thing you must tell yourself, is that everyone has different tastes, some will like the story and how it is told and others will not. Even best selling guru James Patterson had a book that got scathing reviews a couple of years ago. Of course with his fat green bank account, and as a writer of books that seem to come off an assembly line, he can laugh it off and move on the next book churned out a month later.

The rest of us need the good reviews, but keep in mind bad happens, live with it, and remember tastes vary. I Love pizza, my brother hates pizza. In fact our dislikes and likes are polar opposites on everything. One of us must be adopted. I have a birth certificate to confirm my parentage. I have not seen his.

But the ugly is the idiot, such as the one who gave one of my books a one star review. I did not mind the one star in and of itself. I can live with that. it was his reasoning. He gave away the ending. Really? I can say he is right about the ending, but I could also make a case that he bought the killer’s story as did my hero. But was the killer telling the truth? This review came on a book that had two four star reviews and two three star reviews, so I can live with the one, but this person lacked decency.

By the way, for some reason one of the four star reviews disappeared one day. I don’t know what bothers me most, that somehow Amazon loses a four star review or that someone ostensibly gives away the ending of my story. The best thing I can do is get a doll that has been given a voodoo spell by a New Orleans creole woman and stick massive pins into it.

I think I have the makings of a story there. See you later, must get to work.

My e-novels, my reviews-the good, the bad, and the ugly are here:


1 Comment

Filed under dalies, e-book publishing, humor, Uncategorized, writing

One response to “Getting your book reviewed on Amazon, the good, bad, and the ugly

  1. Your post got me giggling, thank you f or that in and of itself! I am in no way shape or form ready for publication; however, I will make it point to pull your post out, in about 2 years from now, and mull over what you wrote to what I’ll recievein reviews! Thanks so much, again, for your insights & humor!!


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