Why I hate the letter M

Many good things begin with the letter M. There is mother, M & M’s (especially many M & M’s), money, mermaids (they’re cute and they’re real), malted milk, maple bars, Mars candy bars (funny how much food we have so far), Marines (Semper Fi), milk maids (they’re cute and they’re real), macaroni and cheese (food again), movies, munchies (something one gets after smoking a cigarette that starts with the letter M-so I have heard) and so on. I would say mammary, but I do not want to appear sexist. Also the Mariners, as in Seattle Mariners, a baseball team in the upper reaches of the Pacific Northwest far from civilized society. I write a blog on the Mariners, have done so for years.

So why do I hate the letter M?

Because we are at war. That letter is the great white whale to my Ahab. It is the saboteur on my keyboard, it is a terrorist that attacks me daily, not once or twice, but incessantly.

You see despite typing the letter M  thousands of times, especially the word Mariners, if refuses to capitalize. I am not joking when I say that just now the lower case ‘m’ showed up instead of upper case ‘M’ in Mariners and I had to correct. Again.

For some reason I can’t seem to shift to M, though I swear I do, but the letter refuses to acknowledge my upper case stroke. I get the upper case right about 13.8 % of the time, not that I have get tabs mind you.

Now imagine what happens when I write a novel. I have written two e-novels and a collection of short stories and I am haunted by the letter like Casper’s unfriendly twin brother.

The chair I sit at when I keyboard is a swivel office chair with arm rests that move in all sorts of positions. I set the arm rests in such a manner to make it easier for me to pound them my elbows, a driving force that thunders and echoes so loud the neighbors complained and the police came knocking on my door. Not once, but Many times. Wait! How did the upper case M get in many. That happens only .03 % of the time. See how insidious M & m is?

If you find any Mistakes (again!) with the letter M in my e-novels, please let me know. There is a war on you know.



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Filed under dalies, e-book publishing, humor, Uncategorized, writing

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