How to plagiarize your life for your story

I called a government agency to provide them with my new address because it could not be done online, though other agencies had that capability. As anyone who has encountered automated call systems you can guess where I am going. I called the number I thought was correct. It was at one time, but the agency has moved  that department to its own befuddled bureaucracy. I was given, by a real human no less, not only the new phone number, but an extension to make it easier for me. I tried without the extension first because I wondered how difficult could it be to get a customer service rep to change my address. After all I quickly contacted the live human who gave me the new number. Each answer bounced me somewhere and after about seven or eight bounces I was told there was a new number to call. I used the extension, but it made no difference, I got the same mocking computer-generated voice. Some systems you can just press ‘0’ to connect with a live human, but not with this system. I tried using the second new number, but you don’t want to know about that.

Now I could have shouted obscenities into the phone, but doing so to an automated system is the same as doing it to a live government employee. You get arrested by the automated police for first degree phone assault of a government computer. You are held for a hearing that may not take place for three to four days, so you wait in your cell, unable to leave for exercise because the automated cell doors are not working. I am smart enough to end the call first, then yell at my phone, at the ceiling, kick the cat, slam the door, and eat a quart of ice cream, vanilla with swirls of chocolate fudge. It helps to calm me down.

Or you can take things that happen to you, change them if you must to disguise the true incident and to protect the innocent, mainly you, but use them in your story, not for its sake alone, but to help with character development, giving a personality to him or her. The incident from your life can be humorous, upsetting, negative and sad, or positive and heart warming, anything you want it to be within the character you are developing. You can alter the incident however you want. You are in control, unlike using an automated call system where you are left to Satan and his minions.

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1 Comment

Filed under dalies, e-book publishing, humor, Uncategorized, writing

One response to “How to plagiarize your life for your story

  1. That’s good advice. I have nothing more to say. *vanishes*


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