The Insidious attack of e-world gremlins

I am the world’s worst proofreader.

In light of my declaration of inadequacy, I take offense that I was targeted by electronic gremlins. They were out to sabotage me, and indeed, they partially did. I really don’t need their help. The following is a true story.

My e-book “Loonies in Hollywood” was published on Kindle Direct a couple of weeks ago. I used an independent formatter where I proofread, then viewed changes on my Kindle app  250 times. This came from a counter on the formatter, and the proofreading was over ten days. I knew I could not catch everything, but I had caught so much I considered something unworldly was going on.

There came a time when both my eyes and my mind were weary and bleary. Eager to publish I went ahead. I sent a review copy to someone knowledgeable on the story I wrote. He emailed me a number of spelling and grammatical errors. I corrected all but one.

He had said there were times I used the word Edward when it should have been Edwin. I went to the formatter, did a search and replace for Edward, but it said there were no occurrences.

Okay. He saw Edward, my formatter does not see Edward. I checked some pages where his name was likely to be found. I could not find Edward.

Group portrait including Captain Edward Robert...

Group portrait including Captain Edward Robert Sterling (Photo credit: Australian National Maritime Museum on The Commons)

Two days ago the book had a free day. The Edward-Edwin thing kept bothering me. Late in the day, that inner voice said to check the formatter one more time. I did another search and replace for Edward, and this time it found 9 occurances. Truthfully, I am so confused, I am not sure what is name is. It could by Wally for all I know.

Okay. First none, now nine. Can the reason be other than e-world gremlins. I think not.

I had to republish the book in the middle of a free day, with I am sure, millions upon millions of eager readers wanting to devour my loony book.

But I had no choice, this is the e-world I live in, one where gremlins try to foil my hopes, dreams, livelihood.

Like I need any help.

By the way, if you are wondering how the above picture relates, so am I. I selected a picture of a gremlin I captured with a special miniature camera. I think we know what happened.


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Filed under e-book publishing, humor, Uncategorized, writing

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